How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
You have been there. You have seen the mother who has the perfectly clean house and her kids are all well behaved and you wonder what you are doing wrong. You see a husband with the perfect wife and the amazing job that lets he and his family travel all over the world. And you think, what is wrong with me? Why can’t my life be like that? What am I doing wrong?
Ever since I can remember I have compared myself to others. Weight, hair, grades, kids, house, you name it and I have compared it. I know it is damaging but I didn't know how to silence the voice in my head.
I read a talk from one of my spiritual leaders Elder Russel M. Nelson that he gave in October 1989.
Speaking of a “Woman of Infinite Worth" he says:
"Of course, there are times when a woman’s ability to endure is taxed to the limit. A teacher may have had enough of childish pranks, or a mother might be heard to say she’s 'ready to resign.'
I loved reading this. I admit that there have been many occasions where I was “ready to resign.”
"She could become discouraged, especially if comparing herself unrealistically to others or focusing on what she is to do instead of on what she is to be.
I do that, I am so worried about the next thing that needs to be done that I don’t focus on being a mother full of love or a teacher willing to explain.
"Her self-esteem cannot be based on physical features, possession or lack of a particular talent, or comparative quantities of anything. Her self-esteem is earned by individual righteousness and a close relationship with God. Her outward glow is generated by goodness within. And her patience is much more apparent than any imperfection. (See D&C 67:13.)
We can’t compare. God does not compare us. He looks at our righteousness and our relationship with Him. He sees our goodness no matter who is standing next to us. He is patient and we must be patient. We must give the benefit of the doubt to ourselves. We must love ourselves and be patient.
"Sweet serenity is found in fervent prayer. Then, we forget ourselves and remember the reaching hands of the Savior, who said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28.) As our burdens are shared with Him, they do become lighter.
I can testify of this. As I pray sincerely and take time to read the scriptures I am amazed at how much easier my life is. As I put Him first He takes care of all of my needs and most of my wants.
"Feelings of worth come when a woman follows the example of the Master. Her sense of infinite worth comes from her own Christlike yearning to reach out with love, as He does.
To print your copy of this quote click here.
LOVE, love is the key. When we allow God to love us and fill our hearts there is no room for comparison. God gives us so much love that we will never use it all. But we can take the extra that is flowing out of us and give it to someone else just as Christ has done for us.
"When her husband, children, grandchildren, nieces, or nephews return from a day marred by the world’s rude realities, a loving woman can say, “Come unto me. I will give you rest.” Wherever she is can become a sanctified place, safe from the storms of life. Refuge is there because of her ability to nurture and to love unconditionally."
That is what matters. Not what the house looks like, not what car we drive or where we work. What the Lord wants is our hearts and then He wants us to give them away to all those around us. When we do He immediately gives us more so that we are never empty and never have to worry about what others are doing.
So next time you begin to think about how that person is so much better remember that Christ is the ultimate source of Love and Goodness. By seeking His approval instead of others you will have the peace I know you are searching for. You will see His Beauty around you and you will be happy and you will not feel the need to compare yourself to others. God Bless You in your journey to find His Beauty all around you.
