How to use the words “Thank You” to change your family
I grew up as the youngest of five children and like most kids, I loved getting gifts at Christmas time. My parents held a tradition about the exchange of gifts with one another. My parents encouraged us to take turns opening our presents. After each gift was opened, the receiver of the gift would go to the gift giver and tell them “Thank You” accompanied by a hug.
I didn’t think much of that tradition and clearly was more focused on the gift I had received than on the act of appreciation until my adult years. It was then that I began to experience other families’ traditions at the holidays that in most cases didn’t include the formal and intentional pausing of the gift exchange to allow time for the receiver to show appreciation before jumping to the next gift to open.
I pondered on this tradition and the difference in feelings I had in those moments, not as the gift receiver giving my thanks but rather as the gift giver receiving back a gift of gratitude for my physical present given. The feelings I had felt in those moments included peace, satisfaction, love, joy and warmth inside. All those good things that we all wish were permanent feelings of our hearts.
Intentional & Meaningful “Thank You”
So what impact would we have within our families if our “Thank You” became more meaningful, intentional, and focused? Gifts of time, energy, money, service, thoughtfulness, or self-sacrifice dot the lives of our families. For the recipient of these gifts, imagine the power that can be returned to the giver by the simple words, “Thank you”, done in such a Christ-like way.
Research done in the field of psychology supports such a notion. A study on gratitude performed in 2014 suggested that acts of gratitude actually inspires the recipients to seek ongoing relationships and bind themselves to the positive and similarly aligned social interest of others (Jia, L. et al. (2014), Emotion 14(4), 748–760).
I also found this quote from Elder Robert D. Hales, the late Apostle in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:
“In some quiet way, the expression and feelings of gratitude have a wonderful cleansing or healing nature. Gratitude brings warmth to the giver and the receiver alike.”
How poignantly Elder Hales described the impact of gratitude extended in a Christ-like way. Sometimes just offering those words, “Thank you”, can heal hearts and mend relationships much in the same way the words, “I’m sorry” can as well.
Hope for More Gratitude
My hope and prayer is that we all strive to be a little better at saying “Thank you”, giving each other hugs, and expressing gratitude to each other in more loving and meaningful ways. It will not only brighten the lives of those who receive this gratitude, but will also lift our own souls as well.
